summer lovin’ (review of one of the best horror movies, ever)
aka: hot hot heat - A review of Sleepaway Camp (spoiler: I will tell you how it ends) and a little talk about On the Lot (again).
It was a dark and stormy night. A night perfect for watching a scary movie. I accidentally turned on On The Lot (which I had forgotten was still on) and it was horror night. They've lessened the American Idol factor a little (with a poolside elimination this week) so it was somewhat watchable. Thankfully, maniacally cute Kenny was first (his was the only film I actually wanted to see) but it sucked. It was a Blair Witch rip off with mutants and blog references (but the ending was funny). It was still dark and stormy and I wanted to watch a real movie. And thankfully, I found Sleepaway Camp (1983).
Fast forward through the opening credits, which feature a 1980s TV movie dramatic score mixed with random, disembodied dialogue from campers past and overly long shots of the camp (empty). We finally end the opening with a shot of a sign for the camp, with a for sale sign tacked on it (they don't explain time-wise, but I assume it goes for sale because of what is about to happen).
We're suddenly on the lake (a different one than at the camp?) with two kids and a father figure (who looks reminiscent of On the Lot's Kenny). The kids are mischievous and oh, here comes some reckless teens on a speed boat. It's an accident waiting to happen, and we literally wait and wait amidst the yelling for the accident to actually happen (it is one of the most slowest accident scenes ever). One kid seems to be dead – or at least floating face down.
Eight years later (the movie tells us, thanks): Ricky and his cousin Angela, teens, are being shipped off to camp by the manic Joan Crawford-on-steroids mom type.
I never went to camp when I was younger, but this is what I imagined it would be like: cranky adults, screaming and cursing kids, noisy mess halls, a kitchen with fly paper strips hanging from the ceiling, a pedophilic head chef, forty year old looking but they are probably supposed to be teens male camp counselors (who get their homoerotic fun in by playing baseball in short shorts and going skinny dipping). It's perfect! There's mean kids and corny dialogue as we settle into the story. There's the camp's owner, Mel, a clueless, cigar smoking grump that probably shouldn't be working around kids. Then there's Ronnie (whom I started to refer to as Meathead), possibly Mel's assistant, possibly the head counselor. He's always there, bulging out of his short shorts, to help with the disgruntled campers. When Angela refuses to eat, Meathead takes her to meet the head chef to see if he can make her anything special. Cue scene of pedophile head chef trying to assault Angela and cousin Ricky rushing into her rescue.
It's a horror movie and one of our main character's safety was compromised. That means the fun is about to start!
A little while later, the chef has a super-tall pot of boiling water dumped on him. The beautiful special effects show his burned, boiled over hands. He is quickly shipped off to the hospital and Mel is quick to cover up the "accident."
A bunch of boys and girls meet up down by the lake to go skinny dipping (at least the boys go). Mullet haired Kenny, one of the campers, I think, is a bit stupid and ends up getting killed underneath his capsized canoe. It's not clear why, but he might have been one of the guys who tried to ask Angela out to the lake gathering (a lot of these '80s kids look similar). The next day, Meathead in his short shorts glory, is down by the lake, sent there by Mel to clean up (the kids threw some patio furniture into the water). He grumbles about how Mel takes him for granted and then discovers the body (and insane make up work on corpse Kenny).
Angela starts to slowly come out of her shell with Ricky's best friend, Paul (a spineless sort, who always seems to take off when Angela comes into a bully's crosshairs). Most everyone else at the camp picks on catatonically doe eyed and usually mute Carrie-esque Angela.
Bane of Angela's camp life is Judy, the superbad, first to develop girl with a side pony tail and a sailor's mouth. Her torture cohort is Meg, their cabin counselor.
One of the counselors, creepy Billy, leads a roof top water balloon attack. Guess who the target is? He later ends up locked in a toilet stall and our murderer drops in a hive of bees. He must be allergic because he dies a loud, violent death (the cinematography and make up, again, so good).
A bunch of kids leave, out of fear that a maniac is loose. For some reason, Mel thinks it must be Ricky (who is a bit of a hot head) doing all of this (which in any good horror movie means that Ricky is not our murderer).
Paul and Angela have a nighttime romp by the lake. Out of nowhere (maybe not so out of nowhere, if you were really paying attention to the opening), Angela has a flashback of the man from the boat (Ricky's dad?) in the opening with another man, in bed. She spazzes out.
Now, by this point, you are pretty sure the killer is Angela, but the movie does try to throw in some red herrings. There's Mozart (I guess he's the nerd, but he doesn't seem that nerdy) who is constantly picked on. After one prank, he pulls a knife and threatens a bunkmate. There's also Susie, the overly nice and very sympathetic to Angela counselor.
To take everyone's minds off all the violence, the camp partakes in a big game of capture the flag/color war. Sexually frustrated Paul easily succomes to Judy's advances (well, he was a bit unwilling to kiss back, then became more willing). Angela sees the two kissing and runs off. Paul follows.
Color war is apparently over and we may be into the next day. Paul apologizes to Angela, puts the blame on Judy. Obnoxious Judy comes up to the couple (cue for Paul to take off) and with the help of evil Meg, Angela gets thrown into the water (she's deathly afraid of the water). Ricky sees this and tries to help Angela, but Mel (who has also just seen his counselor throw a kid into the law – hello, lawsuit) holds Ricky back.
Later, Ricky says to Angela, "we won't let them get away with this." In horror movie speak, that means all hell is about to break loose!
It is the night of the big social. Unfortunately, stupid counselor Eddie has been assigned to take his cabin camping. A few of the counselors, including evil Meg, have the night off. Meg plans to have a dinner date with Mel (ewh) and goes off to the empty cabin to take a shower. This leads to one of the most kick ass horror movie shower scenes (she's stabbed in the back through the back shower wall).
Back to the campsite: Eddie and his six kids set up at the site. They drove there. Isn't this camp? Shouldn't they have hiked?
Cut back to the social. Paul and Angela make plans to meet up after the social.
Back to the campsite: two whiney kids are scared and want to go back to their cabin. Dumbass Eddie takes the two in his car and leave the four other kids there, unguarded.
Mel discovers Meg's body (the corpse actually seems to jump out of the shower but the make up is so good). Mel's out to seek vengeance and goes out to find Ricky.
Judy is finally gets her comeuppance – she is killed with a hot curling iron.
Dumbass Eddie is now back at the campsite and guess what? The kids he left there are dead. He pukes at the site of the murdered kids. They only show flashes of the bloody sleeping bags (it's a little hard to make out as the scene is very dark, it looks more like trash piles).
Cut back to the social. The movie pushes the idea that maybe Ricky is the killer, as they show him coming late to the dance.
Mel grabs him and pummels him to almost death. He thinks he has killed Ricky and decides to run off. He ends up at the archery range where he then sees the real murderer. Then an arrow gets shot through his neck (and you almost clap a little).
Meathead gets word from Eddie about the dead kids. A cop (with the best 1980s mustache that looks totally fake when he's in a close up) shows up and everyone finally realizes that there's a killer on the loose and that they should stay put. Cop, Susie, Meathead and another counselor to go out to look for a few of the missing campers.
Paul and Angela meet up and Angela suggests they go skinny dipping.
The cop finds Ricky and it turns out, Ricky is still alive.
Meathead and Susie find Angela, with her back to the camera and Paul seemingly asleep in her arms. Angela has a flashback. The crazy prepster mom from the opening is back. She tells the child in front of her that since her husband left, she went a little crazy. Apparently, after the boat accident, crazy mom has decided that the child should go from boy to girl and she renames him Angela (so the kids in the opening boat scene were Ricky and a little boy later Angela).
The flashback causes Angela to freak out. She jumps up and turns out Paul is dead and decapitated. Angela is now naked (now having broader shoulders than in previous scenes), blood soaked and has a penis.
Meathead and Susie stare in horror. And then Meathead says (as if to clarify for the audience), "she's a boy!"
We end on a shot of Angela. And then her theme song (yes, her theme song) kicks in.
This movie is brilliant. It is everything I love in a horror movie. The violence is schlocky. It relies on editing, suggestion and fantastic make up instead of over the top vomit-inducing blood and gore. There are a few tiny jump moments but you aren't spending the entire movie looking away from the screen. It has corny dialogue and the acting ranges from stilted and frozen to over the top. The murder scenes are so unbelievable but so oddball and creative that they at least make you laugh. It's a simple story but has enough crazy plot twists to separate it from the droves of 1980s slasher films. And it has male nudity (all be it from the behind) in it. No resorting to the cheap female thrills (although they could have easily done so, especially with characters like Meg and Judy). It's spawned two direct to video sequels, though director Robert Hiltzik was not associated with them (this was his only movie and he had written the script to Sleepaway Camp as his grad school senior thesis).
Sidenote: You can play a drinking game with this movie. Drink every time someone says or yells out "Angela!" (it happens a lot). Drink two times when someone says it in that New York/Tony Danza on Who's the Boss accent (ditto).
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