3.05.2008

God is my co-signer

[originally posted on myspace on Monday, February 18, 2008]

(aka Jesus is My Loan Shark)

TLC has a show called My First Home, which is a good enough show. It follows first time home buyers through the process and it can be very educational (though, often, I am left with this deadening feeling about how little these people know as they jump into a huge financial decision).

On a recent episode:

Husband, wife and four boys in Indiana (Indianapolis, I think, which, wow are their housing prices cheap!). Wife teaches at a Christian elementary school and husband does some sort of church related work (they show him a few times talking to kids/teens about Jebus). The two make a respectable combined salary (this is why I love this show – they tell you the median salaries for everyone's jobs). They have been renting the wife's childhood home, which, honestly, looks like a crack house. They mention it is a horrible neighborhood (I really hope the rent wasn't that high). So, they want to move to a better neighborhood (preferably the 'hood all their church peeps live in).

The town's home prices are dirt cheap ($120-150k for newish to new construction…insane!). They make a decent living yet have a shit FICO score and even though they have been "looking" at houses for three years now, have zero saved up for a down payment.

Anyway, they go look at houses and decide they really ought to custom build (still dirt cheap). They can't get approved for a lot (even after working to improve their FICO scores) but they pray on it. The husband says something along the lines of "if God wants us to have a house, he will provide."

They get approval but, oops, they need to have a down payment. They have nothing saved. So, they pray on it some more and their church takes up a collection, gifts them $5000 and all is well.

My (many) problems with this:

1) Husband is whiny and damn creepy (maybe in that he reminds me of former New Guy) and therefore enforces my stereotype that all churchy guys are oafish, dumb and creepy.

2) Husband and wife are older (I'd say 30s to 40s). How do they not save up something? Even a few hundred dollars, especially considering they have been "looking" at houses for three years. I understand, they have bills, they have kids, but they also have a crappy FICO score, which means they probably blew up their credit cards and didn't pay them off (so, again, why zero savings?). As Suze says, if you can't save up even a few hundred dollars, you (probably) have no business buying property.

3) (well, probably 2A) Husband complains that church people don't get paid a lot. Maybe think about another job? Or a second part time job, just for the down payment?

4) Oh, no, we keep asking God about it. That is something I really don't get. I understand (and kind of belief in) putting something out to the Universe to get some sort of answer (see: my last job) of what you might want to think about doing. But I would never ask the Universe, Krishna, Buddha, Santa Clause, etc to GIVE me a house or for that matter, money (that I should have been saving) to use towards said house.

5) (probably 4A) If there is a God, wouldn't he have more important things (oh, I don't know, war, famine, disease, Project Runway) to worry about than if this family got their dirt cheap (yet kinda nice) custom built home (that they saved nothing for)? I imagine it's like some high powered CEO or President getting calls from his bratty, spoiled teenaged daughter asking for money to buy a new purse or shoes since she's already blown this week's allowance. I mean, really.

And interesting note: at the end, the show spells out how much the people spend on the house, etc (which I love). The church gave them a love gift (which means it's a gift and not a loan) of $5000 for their down payment. The show lists the down payment put down at so not $5000 (I think about $4500). Which begs the question, where's the rest of the money? If I was one of the suckers, I mean, donors, I'd want to know…

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