venti

[originally posted on myspace on August 15, 2008, Friday]

Maybe it's the lack of food mixed with espresso, or growing older, or the Ryan Cabrera song that's on right now…but I'm starting to realize that venting has no purpose.

If something bugs me or I need to document something, I will blog and get it off my chest (or blog until it is) and then, I'm pretty good. I no longer need the marathon vent session, recounting and replaying for anyone that will listen that I used to need. I post, I feel better (to some extent), the end.

I just started reading a book last night that essentially says (most) women buy into fairy tales as young girls and wait to find the perfect guy to rescue them/save them/protect them rather than that help themselves. And (for me) I think venting is the same thing. I vent so someone else will tell me what to do or so someone else can feel bad for me. But, by blogging, I can re-read my own thoughts and think, geez, that's a dumb concern or well, shut up and do something about it already.

I can appreciate that if you vent about something to someone else, maybe they will see things you don't, offer solutions that you could not come up with, but I don't need someone outside me to tell me what to do. I know me (somewhat) and I know what will work, what won't (for the most part), what I will do and won't do, and, most importantly, (cliché warning) change is growth and pain is inevitable but sometimes short lived and almost always teaching you something. And to quote NOFX: I ain't waiting on no prince to save me.

To vent excessively, especially to dwell on the bad, is to throw up your hands and say I have no control over this or anything and to get dangerously close to getting stuck in a rut, mulling around in your own negative thoughts, to give into pessimistic tendencies with the thought that someday, someone else will fix this.

I think venting (in the long winded sense) plays into the procrastination and negative energy that I've been trying to avoid/change (texting Kym about boy weirdness during late hours doesn't count as venting).

And, I don't mind if someone needs to vent to me (as they usually don't blog), but lately I've been thinking, why are they telling me? Because I listen/am easy to talk to? Because they want someone to feel bad with them? Do they want my advice or do they just want me to smile and nod?

There is something to silence, there is good logic behind keeping your mouth shut.